It snowed all night last night. I woke up this morning to piles of it, perfect for sledding, and all I could think about was our conversation Monday-how you wanted to take me sledding, since I've never been.
It's taking every ounce of willpower I have not to text and ask you to go with me today. I've run through our earlier conversation what feels like a hundred times. Are you struggling as much as I am? Is it just as hard for you not to pick up your phone and text me?
I found what would have been the perfect birthday present for you- a belt made of an old bike tire. It looks really cool and the fastener is made of this bike chain kind of thing. You'd wear it every day, I'm sure. Would you hate me if I sent it to you? Probably.
I know you were right (and I guess I said it too, so I was also right, in a way) when you said we just weren't going to work and that it wasn't anyone's fault but I can't help but blame myself. If I had just learned to mountain bike or gotten better at climbing faster (I never really mastered anything beyond a 2) or been less absorbed in my own misery, then we could still be together now. Would that be the best thing for us? I've known plenty of couples who have been on and off for awhile and then ended up making it work. Could we have been one of those? I secretly hold out hope that one day we'll meet up and realize we're still crazy about each other. Will it be too late then? I feel like it's already too late now. I had my second chance and I wasted it, freaking out about jobs and school and not paying any attention to what you were going through. Maybe this is what's best for both of us. I just can't see how this is a good thing, constantly fighting my desire to talk to you, see you, hug you.
It's taking every ounce of willpower I have not to text and ask you to go with me today. I've run through our earlier conversation what feels like a hundred times. Are you struggling as much as I am? Is it just as hard for you not to pick up your phone and text me?
I found what would have been the perfect birthday present for you- a belt made of an old bike tire. It looks really cool and the fastener is made of this bike chain kind of thing. You'd wear it every day, I'm sure. Would you hate me if I sent it to you? Probably.
I know you were right (and I guess I said it too, so I was also right, in a way) when you said we just weren't going to work and that it wasn't anyone's fault but I can't help but blame myself. If I had just learned to mountain bike or gotten better at climbing faster (I never really mastered anything beyond a 2) or been less absorbed in my own misery, then we could still be together now. Would that be the best thing for us? I've known plenty of couples who have been on and off for awhile and then ended up making it work. Could we have been one of those? I secretly hold out hope that one day we'll meet up and realize we're still crazy about each other. Will it be too late then? I feel like it's already too late now. I had my second chance and I wasted it, freaking out about jobs and school and not paying any attention to what you were going through. Maybe this is what's best for both of us. I just can't see how this is a good thing, constantly fighting my desire to talk to you, see you, hug you.
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